So, I've decided not to delete the blog. Sort of. I won't kill it dead, at least. But I don't plan to write anything until at least June and the fact that I keep getting messages from Welsh-language trolls (feel free to interpret that either in the internet sense of the term or the A.A. Gill sense, I don't care) pushes back any potential return date.
I am not Welsh, nor have I tried to assert that I am carrying any sort of banner for the Welsh language. Yet people treat me with full disdain because I decided to stop writing a blog in Welsh. Think about that: I learned the language on my own, moved here, changed my life for Welsh, and ended up alienated and ignored or treated condescendingly by Welsh speakers. But in deciding to take a step back from that "life" I am being attacked -- told that I am worth nothing and that I should leave the country (a).
I am tired of trying to conform to some impossible duplicitous vision of what other people want me to be. If I stay in Wales, and if I continue as a member of the Welsh-language community, it will be because I see a purpose in doing so. Presently I do not. Constant attack from trolls hiding behind the partial anonymity the internet provides only strengthens my desire to leave forever and my ill will toward all that I would leave behind.
(a) Although, it's worth noting that I am being told this by someone who lives in Arizona.